April 2012
92 posts
2 tags
Apr 29th
2 notes
2 tags
Apr 29th
8,547 notes
2 tags
Apr 28th
57,572 notes
2 tags
Apr 28th
2,036 notes
2 tags
Apr 28th
288 notes
3 tags
Apr 28th
368 notes
2 tags
Apr 28th
12,676 notes
1 tag
How to tell the difference between different...
POWER METAL: The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.
THRASH METAL: The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.
HEAVY METAL: The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and fucks the princess.
FOLK METAL: The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave........ without the princess.
VIKING METAL: The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.
DEATH METAL: The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.
BLACK METAL: The protagonist IS the dragon, dwells in the heart of the night with in a castle full of hellhounds and eternal flames. He kills the sassy knight, fucks the noble steed and sacrifices the princess to Satan.
GORE METAL: The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.
DOOM METAL: The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.
PROGRESSIVE METAL: The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the 'HEAVY METAL' protagonist.
GLAM METAL: The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour.
NU METAL: The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.
Apr 27th
29,434 notes
2 tags
Apr 27th
305 notes
2 tags
Apr 27th
11 notes
3 tags
Apr 25th
96,573 notes
3 tags
Apr 25th
228,126 notes
1 tag
Apr 25th
478 notes
2 tags
Apr 25th
17,626 notes
3 tags
Lap of luxury
animalsbeingdicks: After winning the lottery, Shawn’s first purchase was a human slave to vacuum his coat for hours on end.
Apr 25th
301 notes
2 tags
Apr 24th
4,295 notes
3 tags
Apr 24th
104,061 notes
2 tags
Apr 23rd
1,997 notes
2 tags
Apr 23rd
8,374 notes
1 tag
Apr 23rd
162 notes
2 tags
Apr 22nd
25,187 notes
2 tags
Apr 22nd
22,426 notes
2 tags
Apr 22nd
1 tag
Apr 21st
124,774 notes
1 tag
Apr 21st
17,053 notes
2 tags
Apr 21st
1 note
2 tags
Apr 21st
3 notes
1 tag
The Absolute Worst Things in the World →
Apr 21st
2 tags
Apr 20th
139 notes
1 tag
Apr 20th
201,223 notes
1 tag
Apr 20th
1,708 notes
2 tags
Apr 20th
5,832 notes
1 tag
Apr 18th
277 notes
1 tag
Apr 18th
163,243 notes
2 tags
Apr 18th
5,121 notes
1 tag
Apr 18th
20,051 notes
2 tags
Apr 17th
3,753 notes
1 tag
Apr 17th
35,492 notes
3 tags
Apr 17th
113 notes
1 tag
Apr 17th
67,610 notes
1 tag
Apr 17th
266 notes
3 tags
Apr 17th
30,389 notes
3 tags
Apr 17th
5,679 notes
2 tags
Apr 16th
37,934 notes
2 tags
Apr 16th
122,712 notes
2 tags
Apr 16th
13,667 notes
3 tags
Apr 16th
15,216 notes
2 tags
Apr 16th
71,796 notes
4 tags
Apr 16th
37,152 notes
1 tag
Apr 16th
5,791 notes